Friday, April 20, 2012

And The Door Re-opens?

I thought this blog was finished, I thought the story was over....maybe not?

Rusty and I were talking about vasectomies and I had scheduled him an appointment for a consultation in January, but he backed out at the last minute as we both decided that it was not our place to make such a permanent decision.

We gave it up to God.

And here we are, 8 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow and as of yesterday the baby had a strong heartbeat of 157bpm.

I've already had some bleeding issues (this morning, in fact) and I just have to keep reminding myself that pregnancy is an act of faith. If God wants us to have a living child, nothing in heaven or hell or earth can stop that miracle from happening.

Conversely, if it is not in God's plan for us to give birth to a living child, there is nothing we can do to prevent the inevitable.

All we can do is pray and wait and try to be patient and faithful.

It's sooooo hard and so scary!!!! This is my 6th pregnancy with only one living child, my 10 year old son, Taylor, from a previous relationship. This is my 5th pregnancy with my husband since 2009 and the last 4 have all been tragic with 3 of them buried in the cemetary.

God, give us strength and wisdom and patience and the ability to trust you unconditionally..."thy will be done."