Thursday, September 30, 2010

Ok, I'm Done Complaining!

Taylor had a great swim practice. Tried on the new team suits (we order them on this sport is $$$$!!!) and got his silicone team swim cap.
He learned the butterfly today...just in time! The Asst. Coach signed him up for the 25m butterfly event at the meet next weekend.
He's so happy and excited and proud of himself. Definitely worth all the sacrifices!

Ate something and took a nap...I think that's the cure for pregnancy mood swings.

Feeling Becca kicking me...little tiny fluttery kicks, but still movement. Words cannot describe how amazing and wonderful it is to feel life inside me again.

It's just awesome.

Whew! Hope I can find a way to get used to and deal with all these hormones and physical and emotional side-effects of pregnancy.

I'm sooooo ready for February...I want to hold this little girl in my arms!


Yes I'm blessed.
Yes, I know I shouldn't.


Homeschooling 3 boys is draining. Going through all of this and only being HALFWAY THERE in my pregnancy is draining. Not having a second vehicle and having to walk several miles a week with the boys to the library and the YMCA is about ready to make me explode.

I just put all the boys in the living room to have quiet time so I could son has swim team practice 3 days a week so we have to walk to the YMCA on Mon, Tues, and Thurs...the youngest boy loves it because we play basketball.
The oldest boy doesn't like it so he wants his dad to come pick him his dad is coming to pick him up....what am I going to do 3 days a week if this kid wants his dad to pick him up every time we have to go to the Y?

And I'm STILL recovering from walking to the Y on Mon and Tues...yesterday I was so wiped out I couldn't even go to church. Now I have to walk there again and I'm still worn out and dehydrated from two days ago.

....and don't get me started on our darn tiny 900sq ft house...I can't seem to keep it clean to save my life. When the boys go home, I have to cook dinner, then do dishes, try to get some laundry done, attempt to straighten up...and the house is STILL a disaster!

What the heck am I gonna do when a baby gets here??? (This baby BETTER get here!!!)

I'm exhausted, I'm tired, I'm weepy, I'm irritable, I'm uncomfortable, I don't want to walk to the YMCA and I don't want to do anything else for a week!!

As soon as we get back from the YMCA I have to cook dinner and do the dishes and spend about 2 hours making tests for the boys exams tomorrow.


I would love to scream and yell and throw things and have a tantrum like a little child right now.

Stupid pregnancy hormones. 3 pregnancies in one year....I'M EFFING TIRED AND HURT!!!

And grouchy. Definitely. Grouchy.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Good Griefus! 19 Weeks and turning into a klutz!

Well, I was too busy crying yesterday to get a pic up for 19 weeks, but praise God, Becca has been moving all over the place!
(Yes, I have given up on going for Becky and agreed with hubby (and the kids) who prefer Becca over Becky for Rebecca.)
In fact, last night, when we were in bed, Rusty put his hand and my belly and she gave him a nice little kick. The first kick thats been felt outside of the womb and it went to Daddy. Yay! :) Now that's worth smiling about!

I have become so much of a klutz lately and I'm having a really hard time coming to grips with that. I've always been well-coordinated. Not graceful by any means, but well-coordinated. Yesterday I dropped two dishes and broke one.
Today I spent an hour and a half cooking Sunday lunch for everyone (teryaki beef, lima beans, and scalloped potatoes), serving them all their food and tea and then sat down with my plate, only to accidentally dump it all over my lap and on the floor.
And if that wasn't bad enough...I burst into tears!

Thankfully, my husband was very sweet and came into the bedroom where I had run to change my clothes (potatoes and lima beans all over my pants) and cry...he said "are you alright?" and I sobbed "I'm ok I'm just pregnant!!" hahahaha!! He gave me a hug and went to guide the dog in the clean-up for me. :)

Well, this week's symptoms are lots of crying and lots of dropping and bumping into things....wonder what next week will bring? Hahahaha!!
Oh I'm so grateful and so happy to be pregnant....I'll take whatever gets thrown at me. With a little prayer and some love from my family and friends, I'll do anything, ANYTHING, to get through this pregnancy and bring home a happy, healthy baby.

Thank you God for making my pregnancy very very NOT boring.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Everyday Can't Be a Good Day

I miss Jimmy today. Listened to some tunes on my iPhone that reminded me of him. Broke down. Had a nice cry....feeling a little under the weather physically as well as emotionally.
I miss him.
It hurts.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Dr Appt Yesterday Went Well

Had the big scan yesterday...

Baby was looking good with her legs all stretched out and relaxing with her face towards my back (we never got her to turn around so we could see her face...lil stinker!)

Her heartbeat was around 134-138 I think and she was measuring well at 10 ounces.

The 3 hour gestational diabetes test was icky, but I passed and only had to do two blood sugar was 88 when I got there, 123 an hour after the drink, and 118 an hour after that. Whew!

The anatomy scan for the baby showed all her parts in place and in working order, and all of my bloodwork came back great and problem free for both her and me.

What a relief, eh? :)


Had a bit of pink discharge today when I went to the bathroom...trying not to freak out, just hoping that its "one of those things" and all is well.
I did feel baby girl kicking me right after, which is comforting, so I'm going to try to relax and just hope it doesn't mean anything and won't happen again.


Rusty bought me flowers yesterday and bought the baby a pink stuffed hippo. This is the first thing he bought for the baby so I guess he's beginning to accept the reality of this little girl...I know its hard for him and buying her something was a big step.
He spent almost the whole time at the doctor yesterday with his earbuds in and his face glued to his iPhone except when the doctor was in the room to do the ultrasound. He was very distracted for most of the day so I can tell that this is difficult for him to process...think he's accepting there is no turning back and there's a possibility we might get to keep this baby.
He is slowly beginning to warm up to the idea, mention the baby more often, and admit once or twice that he just can't relax until the baby gets here...the pregnancy part has no real joy for him, just mostly stress.
He mentioned that it will be a relief when he can finally feel her kicking from the outside. I can't wait for him to have that experience..I know it means a lot.

Hope everything continues to go well...even the kids are starting to talk about the baby in terms of "when the baby gets here."

Thank you Lord, please continue to watch over our daughter....

Monday, September 20, 2010

18 Weeks!!

18 Weeks and all is well!

Starting to feel some movement...a few little flutters here and there and some little thump/rolls and even a couple of kicks!
Movement is sporadic and very light...if this wasn't my third baby, I could probably still pass it off as gas or indigestion.

Cleaned out the storage unit and tried on my wedding dress yesterday....good thing I was 6 months pregnant when I got married, eh? It felt so good wearing my wedding dress...I felt like a princess and thought I looked even better than I did in it when I got married.
Cleaned my stepdaughter's room/nursery and looked at the bin full of Jimmy's clothes...asked my husband why I didn't want to put them in the attic but I didn't want to give them away either...he said "you know why. it's like saying goodbye all over again." I cried for a couple of minutes and he just held me in silence.
So strange that if Jimmy had lived we would be complaining about having two babies in strange......
I miss Jimmy, but I'm also so overjoyed with the hope and love for this little girl inside of me.

Tomorrow is the big scan and the big test! Soooo excited!! :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

17 Weeks! (A week late!)

Wow, where has the week gone??

I have been enjoying what feels like a relatively normal pregnancy and I have been sooooo busy with homeschooling Taylor and the other two boys that joined us that I have been too pooped to update this thing.
Actually, that's a good feels normal. It feels nice and healthy. I like it.

Here's my 17 week picture:

I have been antsy about the whole movement thing but I've still been feeling flutters here and there so I'm assuming everything is ok....I go back to the doctor on Tuesday for the big 3 hour gestational diabetes test and the big anatomy scan.

Can't wait! :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

16 Weeks

Got my maternity clothes out of storage yesterday...a little nervous about that! Haven't felt any flutters or anything in two days so I'm anxious about that as well. Going on faith and hope that everything is alright....pulled out the old el-cheapo wal-mart "doppler" and tried to hear for a heartbeat last night...heard something faintly that sounded like one but couldn't really tell if it was hers or mine or just my imagination. It was enough to put me to sleep though.

Settling into my new job of homeschooling two boys along with my son...I love it so much! Taking new pride in my rinky-dink teeny house and keeping the dishes washed and stuff, hahaha! :)
Hubby and I finally seem to be on the right track to getting our lives and our finances straight so we're both ecstatic about that and its a huge stress relief.

We bought a bassinet for the baby!! And some little girl clothes and a pink blanket...I almost cried when we bought it, I was so happy!

A couple of more weeks until the big ultrasound....I hope everything is ok...and I can't wait!!!

Wish I could just feel a kick or a roll or something.

I really need the reassurance that baby is still alive and ok!!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Movement? Could it be?

Was half asleep this morning and had my hand on my belly and felt a huge roll like the baby did a was not gas, but I can't tell if I was really awake and it happened or if I was dreaming.
Felt something similar after Taylor and I got done with schoolwork today but on a smaller scale...its not like kicks or pokes or flutters but more like...rolling? Can't explain it, but its there!