Saturday, October 2, 2010
I don't need a special month or a ribbon to remember my son. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him in some way...not a week goes by that I don't shed a tear for him. I will have an empty spot in my heart, reserved just for him, until the day I die.
That being said....I'm sick of being reminded that I've lost a son. I'm tired of the constant reminders that my sweet little boy died right before he was born.
All the friends on facebook that have lost their babies to stillbirth...all the pictures of stillborn babies, lovingly adorned with butterflies and flowers via photoshop because its the only substitute for having a live baby to adorn with real things like clothing...all the status updates of moms whose hearts are breaking....all the reminders and ribbons that October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.....I wish it would all just disappear. It hurts too much.
I miss you, Jimmy. Every. Single. Day.
My heart hurts, my empty arms ache....all those sweet memories before you were born, all the hopes and dreams your daddy and I had for you....I will never forget. Ever. Even if I get Alzheimers...I may forget my husband and my living kids and my friends and how to wipe my own butt, but I will not forget you. I can't. You will always be a part of me.
Miss you so much, Jimmy.