Saturday, June 11, 2011

High HCG Levels?

So, my hcg results came back from 5 weeks 4 days, and they were at 41,000. Since we only saw one gestational sac, I'm assuming that there are not twins in there....but 41,000 is pretty high and numbers you would normally see during the middle of week 6.
It is possible that I ovulated earlier than I thought and I am actually a few days ahead, especially since the gestational sac was measuring ahead as well, but if that is true....then why was there nothing in the gestational sac?

So now I'm worried, naturally. I go back in on Monday to for another ultrasound and to get the results of my second round of bloodwork to see if my hcg has risen and if so, by how much.

I hope there is a baby and a heartbeat by Monday, but it's so hard to not be pessimistic and prepare myself for the worst....I may go in on Monday and they see no baby and diagnose it as a non-viable pregnancy.

It's so hard to be hopeful at this point, because after so many losses, trying to be optimistic just seems like I'm setting myself up for heartache, and why would I want to do that? I don't want to give myself false hopes again, do I? Why shouldn't I just prepare for and expect the absolute worst so that I won't be caught off guard having allowed myself to dream and hope?

After giving birth to two babies within one year who died, and miscarrying another in between...it's just hard not to focus on what is/could be wrong this time around.

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