Monday, May 16, 2011


So...3dpo and I'm wishing I had a companion...After Jimmy died, I joined a TTC after loss board and made some very good friends. It was amazing when we ALL got pregnant the same month and joined the same Pregnancy board!
It was tough when one of my companions lost her rainbow baby and then shortly after her I lost mine was even tougher watching the other two ladies go on to have happy and successful bouncing babies. It hurt.
Now the friend who had the loss the same time I did is over half-way through her next pregnancy, and everything looks good which is AWESOME for her! I do not begrudge her this baby in any way, shape, or form, I just wish I was on the same walk as her. I miss going through this together, and if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, it will be bittersweet in many ways, but especially since I will be going it alone this time without my angel mommy sisters to walk with me.

So, ttc again, and not a soul to talk to about it at the moment.

Hopefully I'll find someone to walk with soon. :)


  1. I hear ya! ((((HUGS)))) my husband wont even allow me to concieve another child. he is completly begrudging my emotions all together for himself and "his time" since he doesnt want to waste his whole life raising kids" (yes these are his exact words-asshole) I am on a board with all the women from my DDC, still. There were 3 women having rainbows and i was the only "it didnt work out or i got fucked" scenario. It hurts and i hate it. I am praying God just slips me that one miricle and it works out. Praying the same for you Katie. I have the urge to POAS everyday, eventhough i doubt i am pg. i am 11dpo. i count it every month and everymonth i am let down. sigh. ((((praying for us both))))

  2. *hugs* Hang in husband was VERY adamant about waiting a full year and when I wanted to talk about what would happen after that full year of waiting he was either tight-lipped or merely said something along the lines of an indication that he really didn't want another baby.
    Imagine my surprise when, a week or so ago, we DTD and he did not remove himself. I asked him about it and he just said "let's not talk about it...let's not try, let's just, yanno..." And he also wants me not to tell him if I get pregnant again, just to explain it away by saying I'm getting fat, hahaha!!
    I hope your husband comes around too.

  3. Hugs Katie, I can't imagine how hard it must've been for you. With all my heart I hope that you're able to hold Taylor, Jimmy and Becca's little brother or sister in your arms smiling and cooing at you instead of only being able to hold the baby in your heart.