Saturday, April 23, 2011

Tomorrow is Easter

...and right now I'm just sad. Had Jimmy lived, he would be old enough to hunt Easter eggs. I get to spend tomorrow with my husband's family and a child who was born right around the time Jimmy was. It's like getting a glimpse of what could have been and as hard as I try to be noble about it, it hurts.
I miss Jimmy so much. I miss Becca so much.
I'm having a hard time being close to God or Jesus right now because it hurts too much...I wish Jesus would float down here in person and heal my broken heart and tell me its ok, God didn't punish me by taking away my babies and that its not because I didn't deserve them. I really need to hear that from him...maybe next weekend though. I hear he's too busy rising from the dead right now.

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