Sunday, July 18, 2010

Incessant Whining

I'm hoping at some point in this pregnancy I will cease to complain and whine and cry about every little thing!

Rusty took the kids to go see Despicable Me. I've been really looking forward to going with him and the kids. We've been planning it for a couple of weeks....they just left and I am stuck at home with a stupid headache.
I could cry. But it probably won't make my head feel any better.

Out of the past year and a half, I have been pregnant for approximately 13 months. And still don't have a baby to show for it! Nausea, fatigue, headaches, feeling hot all the time, uncomfortableness, mood swings, crying, fear&anxiety, depression....ugh!!!

Sometimes I am scared that this is putting too much stress on my body and I wonder if I can take it.

I feel like I have missed out on SO MUCH during my pregnancies and its soooo frustrating! There are so many things that I cannot do or have missed out on because of pregnancy limitations and/or my physical condition during pregnancy and during recovery in-between pregnancies.

I look back on some of our family photos before I was pregnant and I see LOTS of pictures of me climbing trees, rocks, running, wrestling, horse-playing, etc. I was very active with the kids. During my pregnancies I have not been able to do much, especially this time...I'm so fatigued and worn out and sick I can't do hardly anything but lay on the couch or sit in front of the computer. It's hard to bond with my children and my husband like I used tickling, food fights, wrestling matches....I've been feeling the effects of this lack of physical bonding with the distance between me and my family.

I bet the kids feel it too, they just probably have no clue why...I really hope we get a baby out of this. The kids have sacrificed so much and they don't even realize it.

I just want this baby. Why is it so hard to be happy right now?

No comments:

Post a Comment